PSYCHOLOGY OF SEX. PARAPHILIAS
Paraphilias That Rely on Consent
Most paraphilias, like fetishism, are not dangerous and rely on the involvement of consenting partners. Here are some other common paraphilias that rely on consent:
Pictophilia. Sexual arousal becomes dependent on viewing pornographic pictures, movies, or videos, with or without a partner.
Transvestophilia. Sexual arousal becomes dependent on wearing clothing, especially underwear, associated with the other gender.
Sadism. Sexual arousal becomes dependent on sexual role play or fantasy that includes giving punishment, discipline, or humiliation.
Masochism. Sexual arousal becomes dependent on sexual role play or fantasy that includes receiving punishment, discipline, or humiliation.
Sadomasochism (S and M). This is sexual role play that is often called dominance and submission (D and S). It may include bondage and discipline (B and D), in which one partner is tied up or leashed. In this kind of sex play, one person has power over the other. Many normophilic couples also play erotic power games. They are similar to the games we played as children. Tag, hide-and-seek, and cops-and-robbers are games that use power for fun.
Dominant and submissive erotic play is very different from harmful relationships in which one person actually bosses, threatens, or harms the other. D and S or S and M games are based upon trust and consent. Couples talk about what they want to have happen before they play their roles. They may wrestle, tease, or spank one another, or they may play master and servant. They set limits by using a safe word that they decide upon before sex play begins. If one partner uses the safe word, it means the partner is no longer enjoying the activity and it must stop.
Consensual paraphilias may be unusual to many people, but they provide others with sexual pleasure. Many people with similar paraphilias belong to groups that offer emotional support and information so that members can live comfortably with themselves and learn to safely express their unique sexuality. They play out their sexual activities in a safe, healthy, and consensual manner.
Some paraphilias that rely on consent are dangerous. For example, people with asphyxophilia depend on strangulation for sexual arousal. They may rely on partners to strangle them, or they may rely on self-strangulation—autoerotic asphyxiation—up to the point of passing out. If the strangulation does not stop in time, they may be killed.
Paraphilias That Rely on Lack of Consent
There are also paraphilias that are based on lack of consent. These paraphilias can be very harmful, and engaging in them is illegal. People with these paraphilias should seek professional counseling.
Exhibitionism. Sexual arousal becomes dependent on exposing the sex organs to those who the exhibitionist thinks will be surprised.
Voyeurism. Sexual arousal becomes dependent on watching people undress or have sex play unaware that they are being watched.
Kleptophilia. Sexual arousal becomes dependent on stealing things.
Biastophilia. Sexual arousal becomes dependent on sexually attacking a non-consenting, surprised, terrified, and struggling stranger. This is a kind of rape, but most rapes are committed by normophilic men.
Pedophilia. Sexual arousal for an adult becomes dependent on having sexual contact or fantasies of sexual contact with a child. Pedophiles are more likely to be heterosexual than homosexual.
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